The Introspecting Introvert

Hundred bucks says that if you’re reading this, you’ve at least considered the possibility that you are a straight-up, crowd-hating introvert.

According to Dictionary.com, an introvert is a person characterized by concern primarily with his or her own thoughts and feelings.

Well damn. That makes you sound like a selfish person whose sole purpose in life is to complain about his feelings. But we know that isn’t right, right?

An introvert is a person who likes to function alone, or feels at home only when the people around him are few in number. Plus, it helps when these people have gone through a rigorous interview process and are worthy of being called your friends.

Many people think being an introvert is a problem. Well, that’s not totally true. Introversion is a perfectly fine doctrine for people to follow. It’s not wrong if a person likes to stay alone, listen to songs, read books, and watch depressing movies all day. It’s wrong when people try to force socializing down his throat and expect him to suddenly produce the new, improved, charismatic version of himself on demand.

So how do you tell if you’re an introvert?

One sign is if you keep posting memes that portray extroverts as noisy public hazards who are always found in large crowds.

As if every word you say is gold. Posting this every three days does not automatically make you an introvert. Sometimes it just makes you a lonely person asking for attention through a meme.

Some other minor symptoms include –

1. Panicking when you get a call from an unknown number. What if he asks you some personal question and you trip? What if he asks your name? Your age? What is your age? Who are you? Who is calling?
2. Getting nervous upon THINKING about getting a call from an unknown number.
3. Getting nervous upon THINKING about getting nervous or doing something weird in front of PEOPLE. People are scary.
4. Thinking too much. Not happy thoughts, though.

Many people feel pride in declaring over the internet that they are introverts. That is suspicious behavior. “Hey, look at me, I do not like people and I like to stay alone all day, please shower me with attention because this is the new fad.” These people are not necessarily introverts. Sometimes they are just attention-seeking dudes wearing solitude like a branded hoodie.

People sometimes call me an introvert, and I don’t necessarily like it. Someone actually listens to your nonsense all day, and what do you do? You call them an introvert. These days people expect you to NOT listen to them. There’s a fine line between listening and talking all the time. Too little, people call you an introvert. Too much, and the person next to you gets bored to death hearing about your relationship problems for the forty-third time. No Joe, I do not know why your girlfriend won’t return your calls after you sent that questionable text to her best friend.

Personally, my inner introvert kicks in when someone invites me to a big social gathering where I don’t know anyone. When this happens, my mind automatically thinks about how much fun it would be to watch that new Tarantino movie, all alone. And then I seriously consider watching it and refusing to go to that very-cool-whatever. Just because of this, I get labelled anti-social. On the contrary, I don’t mind meeting new people, but meeting new people should happen when I feel like meeting new people. Primarily, my concerns are my own thoughts and feelings. Everyone else can wait. The movie cannot.

BUT, and I don’t know about introverts, I absolutely love spending time with my family, cousins, and friends.

So basically, if you’re an introvert, don’t announce it on social media every time you feel like you need attention. Being an introvert is not cool. It’s pretty normal. Cool is when you have that fine balance between Don’t-Get-Any-Closer and Please-God-Send-Me-Someone-To-Talk-To.

Peace.