Reality Check

Weirdest thing happened to me today. I came back home from the gym and there was a guy at the entrance of my house, opening the gate. He was our tenant. While I was waiting for him to open the gate, which was taking an awful lot of time, he gave me a weird look. A little annoyed, I motioned towards the gate, signalling that I wanted to get in. He opened the gate painfully slowly and, just when he was about to get out of the way, asked me, “Who are you looking for?”

He asked me who I was looking for. In my home. I resisted the enormous urge to answer with something unnecessarily rude, because that is what my brain offers me in tense moments for some reason. But since I was raised as a proper, well-mannered, god-fearing kid, I told him it was my house, albeit in a tone that would make some people question my upbringing. He apologized and tried to clear the air with nervous humor, as most people do in awkward situations.

One hour later, this minor incident came back to mind. I had told the guy it was my house, while actually I just live with my parents. I spend around nine months in college and the rest at my house. Correction: at my parents’ house. The sad reality kicked in that after a while I would have to look for my own place to live. My college dorm is currently a temporary place for me to live in. A couple of years later even that would change. Now that I think about it, the moment I left home for college, my room was also wrongfully usurped, as if my parents already knew I wasn’t fully coming back.

The first phase in the life of a normal human is the self-explanatory school phase. The teenage part of our lives. We transition from being little crybabies to bigger crybabies with opinions. Our bodies change and some of us gain a little maturity. From listening to Eminem to arguing with our parents, we grow a lot. School ends, phase one ends.

The second phase is a shorter one: the college phase. We change again from bratty, rebellious little troublemakers to coming-of-age know-it-alls. We hate being told what to do and embrace the newfound freedom that college offers us wholeheartedly. The worst part is that none of us have “it” figured out. We hope someday we will wake up and suddenly know what to do.

The third phase is the job phase. Again, we change from devil-may-care whippersnappers to wannabe Richie Riches. Somehow our degrees have us working 9-to-5 jobs most of us hate. We also marry somewhere during this phase, because apparently one life transition at a time is too simple.

The fourth phase is the retirement phase. Hopefully, during your job phase, you saved enough money to carry yourself through your last few years comfortably. If not, then you either had a government job or have really generous children. Once in a while, you pass on your wisdom to your grandchildren hoping they will listen. They don’t, because they are the bratty little know-it-alls you once were. Occasionally, you tell them a story about how you used to study under streetlights and how kids today have it easy.

Not that I know much about anything above the second phase. I’m still an overconfident know-it-all who should probably be worried about getting his own place to live.

Ah, who cares.

Peace.