Nothing Good Ever Happens After 2 A.M.

Nothing happened yet. But it will.

It’s a quote said by a famous dude. Look it up.

I might be in a philosophical mood. Bear with me.

You see, when you are sitting alone in the middle of the night, interesting thoughts come to you. Your brain goes into rewind mode and makes you remember all the dumb things you did, all your failures, and that one embarrassing incident you would be better off forgetting but, sadly, your brain has stored in 4K.

I’m not really what you would call a hardworking kid. I haven’t really worked hard for anything, at least not for long. Maybe for a little while before going back to my old ways. I took a gap year. Studied seriously for a month or so because I wanted to get into this really awesome college. After that I got lazy. I put off studies for a couple of hours at first. Those couple of hours turned into a couple of days. At first I told myself I deserved to blow off some steam. Later I was just hooked on binge-watching series and somehow convinced myself that tomorrow would be the day I resumed being an academic weapon.

Tomorrow, historically speaking, is a fraud.

I got into an average college. The only good thing about it is that it’s away from home. Don’t judge me too hard; which sane teenager is desperate to live with their parents forever?

My summer break has almost ended. I had decided to put in a lot of quality study time during this break. I was actually excited to study. Guess what I did? No prizes for the winner. It was the gap year all over again, just with different scenery and better excuses. I love my major and there are so many interesting things I want to learn. But then I start putting things off until the next day. When I really think about it, I haven’t achieved anything significant. I’m a quitter.

Achieving something significant means, for once in your life, putting blood and sweat into something you care about. The results don’t matter as much if you truly work hard. If you gave your best shot and still failed, I can’t really say what will happen or how you will feel. No one knows. But when you give your best, you can look into the mirror and know you gave your best.

First year in college was nothing significant. College does live up to the hype, but when you look back, it’s not what you came for. I made my fair share of stories to tell at parties. But you don’t get rich by procrastinating studies for a road trip. At least not in computer science. Again, I did study a little, but little studying does little. I hate to admit it, but I’m just the Average Joe.

Being average is not bad. But it sure is boring. I mean, who doesn’t want to be the best at something? Who doesn’t want to be the person who scores the winning goal for his team in a final? Who doesn’t want to hear a crowd going mad for his singing solo? Who doesn’t want to be the person who owns a Ferrari, bought from his own money after his startup kicked ass in an IPO? If you don’t want any of this, what you first need to do is stop lying to yourself.

I don’t want to fail again. People say failing is necessary. People say a lot of things. People also say motivational quotes in the morning and then treat waiters badly in the evening. So yes, people are not exactly the highest court of wisdom. That’s a different topic. I’m going to rant about our messed up society in another post.

Failing is necessary. What’s even more necessary is introspecting after failing. That’s just a fancy way of saying you should learn from your mistakes. My problem is that my willpower is terrible. I hate to admit it. I kept fooling myself that it was made of steel. It was not even made of cheap plastic.

This time I will follow through.

Dreams are lame. They are just a way to live possibilities without actually working hard. But still, they are important. I will not share my dreams with you but I will tell you what I want to do.

I want to play good basketball. I want to lift heavy weights. I want to be a successful programmer.

It’s 27 July. By the end of the semester, I would’ve worked hard for all these things. Nineteen years of being average really makes you fed up with being average.

You should try it too. Dream big. Post impossible stuff on the internet. Make dramatic promises you may regret tomorrow morning.

But do it only after 2 A.M.

Because nothing good ever happens after 2 A.M.